We all desire great relationships, but many of us fail because of the choices we make. We may have all the right intentions, but that will not necessarily result in good outcomes.
To minimize attracting the worst of relationships; there are things we have control over. These are things we can do, choices we can make or invest in that give us better chances of attracting great relationships.
Don’t set yourself up to fail
Before you expect anyone to appreciate you, you should be able to love yourself. Why would you expect anyone to appreciate you when you don’t?
When you don’t love yourself, you are more likely to accept poor treatment from others. You become okay with people treating you like crap because that is what you feel you are.
That is what you end up projecting, what you feel is what you radiate. When you radiate a lack of love for yourself, you are bound to attract the wrong kind of people. Think about how blood and panic splashed in waters draw sharks. It is not exactly what you have in mind but, it is what you set in motion.
Love your neighbor like you love yourself
Many people love others more than they love themselves. That is defective.
This is not about being selfish, far from it. If you cannot appreciate who you are, you will attract the wrong kind of relationships.
Make a choice to love yourself, deal with the cuts, scrapes, and bruises you may have, and be whole again -so that you can be secure with yourself.
What do you want in a relationship?
You need to know what you want out of a relationship. Make a choice to determine the parameters of what you need. If necessary, pin them on a vision board to remind yourself whenever you look at your board. This is really important.
Look at it this way; if you do not know where you want to go, any path can lead you there. If it is hard for you to filter the relationship with John Doe or Jane Doe that comes your way, anything will do -depending on your mood for the day.
Be intentional if this is not the kind of life you would want.
“If you can dream it, you can make it happen.”
Like Walt Disney, even you can make things happen.
Anybody can get to attract excellent relations with the right mindset. A few hiccups along the way do not need to discourage you.
Remain hopeful and you will find yourself your dream guy or girl.
Do you know what it feels like to be loved? I mean, what would you want to experience to feel you are loved?
Take an architect, for example; they define the finished product long before they begin the construction. That way, they know when it is complete. How about you? What does your dream relationship look like?
Are you emotionally available?
When he or she comes knocking, are you available? It is not about being physically present; rather, it’s about your emotional state. If you are rebounding, you are in no state to be out for any relationships.
Take a break. Heal, so you may be well for all your own sake.
Are there any unresolved fears you have? Fear has a way of setting the pace for failure. Being afraid that things may not work out or even the fear of being loved.
Do not burden yourself with expectations; take it a day at a time. You are bound to falter. If you fall, get up and move on. Do not stay down moaning and groaning and feeling sorry for yourself.
You can’t fix people
Some of us have a tendency to want to fix or heal others we presume need fixing. The doctor in us looks out for patients to carry out house calls.
Attempting to fix people has its drawbacks. It is a cause of many challenged relations. We tend to have an appreciation of how we want him or her to turn out. Unfortunately, people resent being fixed even if they know you have the best of intentions. The only person you can transform is yourself.
So, you’d best accept them for who or what they are, and be prepared to live with them the way they are. Be sure it is worth the compromise. If not, then, keep moving as chances are you will make worse an already bad situation.
Bear in mind, if they do change -then that is a bonus score. Otherwise, be comfortable with the fact that they may never change.
How far are you willing to go
Knowing how far you want to go balances the scales. You know what you want or expect in the relationship. Have a conversation about it.
Boundaries are very helpful in letting you know you have erred, or where lines have been crossed. Without them, people get access to very sensitive places or things which are eventually disastrous.
You hold the power to attract great relationships. When you are set, you will have no grief. Just do your part and be open to the outcome.
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