How to be Secure in Yourself

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Most people suffer from one form of insecurity or another. You are not unique. It is okay to feel something is amiss. The problem, however, would be just to lay back and do nothing about it.

You have the power to transform your life; all you need is a little bit of effort.

There are three things you need to get you started; happiness, confidence and courage.

Before delving into them, there is the need to appreciate why we may not be secure with who we are.

The reasons may be as varied as human nature although two things stick out.

Insecurities are either churned internally or from without –meaning from our environment.


Causes of insecurities

We could narrow the cause of insecurity down to the inner dialog. That voice that speaks to you and me letting you brand certain things differently.

This inner voice is influenced by your life experiences, mostly childhood ones. After getting burned by a candle, you become wary of things that are hot. You later learn how to tame the heat and make the most of it, like cooking food, or ironing clothes.

Parenting adds to this host of challenges. How were you perceived by your parents? Did they adore you or consider you an accident? Were you overly sheltered or protected?

This contributes to what you think of yourself, and how much of other people’s opinions you will take in.


The nature of insecurities

Internal insecurities happen when you are not happy or comfortable with a situation or something about yourself. It could be as simple as the color of your skin, your level of education, or lack thereof, or shape of your nose.

Insecurities are generated from within us, and we are many times the only ones who actually have an issue with them.

The external insecurities, on the other hand, are presented to us by our environment and can be as broad as the world you live; like terrorist attacks, or the loss of close family or friends.

External insecurities are instigated by powers in many cases beyond us.


How to deal with your insecurities

The first thing you want to do is to identify your vulnerabilities. Insecurities have a way of attracting or generating miseries, more so when around the factors that spawn the insecurity.

You first need to identify them.

Figure out what makes you nervous.  Therein lays your problem.

  • What is it that bothers you?
  • Is it your height, your looks?
  • Is it something you can change?
  • Does it fall within your means to do so?
  • Have you tried a solution before and failed?
  • Is it people related?

There are some things you can do little about to change, if at all. In such cases, you would need to come to terms with what it is.


Break the pattern

Insecurities are promoted by a pattern you have allowed to develop over time. Do not put the blame on others, take responsibility. People can only have control over what you allow them -nothing more.

Be happy with who you are and what you have. Find the good in what you once considered shameful. Make an effort and you will surprise even yourself.

Try confidence, it works wonders. The more you dwell on the good you have discovered and appreciate it in an unbiased manner, rest assured; you will build your confidence.

Sooner than later, you will stumble across the courage to inform the world of the good it has so ignored! At this point, the pattern will have been broken, and you would have developed a new and healthier one.


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